If you suspect your therapist may be upset with you, it might seem daunting to raise the issue with them. But honesty and openness are often crucial for a successful therapeutic relationship. Professional therapists will likely welcome any feedback you give them and work with you to address any concerns you have.
Yes, it's normal to be mad at your therapist. Sometimes they say the wrong thing, or react in a way that upsets us, or they're not getting it, or sometimes we take things the wrong way as clients. Just like other relationships in your life! Either way, you should definitely talk to them about it.
The APA Code, Standard 10.08(a), states: "Psychologists do not engage in sexual intimacies with former clients/patients for at least two years after cessation or termination of therapy.” This is the first part of the 2-year rule.
Explore in private what it is specifically that you hate about your therapist. If it's the former, tell your therapist how you feel and explain that you want to work through it with them. A good therapist will understand. If it's the latter, discuss discontinuation and finding a more compatible provider.
It is absolutely okay to cry during a therapy session. In fact, many people find that crying can be a cathartic and healing experience. It's normal to have strong emotions during therapy, and tears can be a sign that you are processing and releasing some of the emotions and stress that you have been holding onto.
Therapists most often reported feeling sad while crying, and grief was most often the topic of discussion. In 55% of these experiences, therapists thought that clients were aware of the crying, and those therapists who discussed their crying with their clients reported improved rapport as a result of the crying.
Short answer, no, never. Longer answer: Lots of times when people cry in session they'll say, I'm sorry. There is a perception that crying is a bad thing or that crying is intrusive or disruptive. I challenge that notion.
Express your concerns
It's important to be open and honest with your therapist, sharing your concerns and reasons behind them. This will help your therapist better understand your perspective and tailor the therapeutic approach to your needs.
If your therapist is sharing too much about their own life, making the session more about them than you, or showering you with unsolicited opinions, those are warning signs. Your therapy space is sacred—it's about you, not the therapist's stories or judgments.
You're not always going to like your psychotherapist. In fact, most people go through phases during the psychotherapy process where their admiration and liking for their therapist will wax and wane.
If you had a positive relationship with your previous therapist, there are benefits to returning to them for care. First, they already know about your mental health history, patterns, and concerns so you won't have to review your previous therapy experience.
But dating your therapist is not an option. Not only can it harm you and your therapy, but it can also cause legal consequences for your counselor. If you develop a crush on your therapist, talk to them about it.
Three percent started a sexual relationship with a current and/or former client, 3.7% started a friendship during therapy, and 13.4% started a friendship after therapy.
Some red flags are egregious, such as violations of boundaries, confidentiality, and licensure. Others may be less flagrant but nevertheless important, such as excessive self-disclosure or ineffective communication skills. Here are the signs of a harmful or ineffective therapist, and what to do if you encounter them.
Therapists do get frustrated with clients from time to time, but some can handle difficult clients better than others.
So, among the very few things we would say you shouldn't tell your therapist are the chatty details of your day. Avoid the safe subjects you don't have any big feelings or deep thoughts about and the conversation topics you use to put others at ease in casual social situations.
Unfortunately, while therapists might suspect that they can tell when patients are being less than truthful, research shows this is not the case. In one study, 73% of respondents reported that the truth about their lies had never been acknowledged in therapy.
If you don't like your therapist, consider why that is. Do you find them to be unprofessional or judgmental? If so, that can indicate that they may not be the right therapist for you. Finding the right therapist can take some trial and error, so do not be discouraged if you feel it is time to seek a new provider.
Talk to your therapist
This can be the hardest step, but it's very important. Once you're clearer on what you're feeling and why, you can bring this up to your therapist. You can speak up about these feelings even if you're still confused about why you feel angry. Bring it up when you feel ready.
While it's not always comfortable to give your therapist the full picture of a situation, feelings, or an experience—especially if it paints you in a bad light—providing those missing details will help your therapist understand you better and be better able to help you.
As a result, students may be led to believe that therapists must remain strong and neutral, and that tears are unprofessional and undermine a therapist's strictly defined role. Yet tears are common for many therapists, research suggests.
When a client begins to cry during a session, therapists respond in a respectful and understanding manner. While it is natural to feel uncomfortable when someone is crying in your presence, the therapist must remain composed and focused on providing support for their client.
There are various ways your therapist can hurt you or make you upset. Maybe your therapist has said something you weren't ready to hear, or they've crossed an ethical boundary. It could also be that you and your therapist don't have a strong therapeutic alliance and it's hard to feel like they're helping you.
Allowing yourself to cry in front of your therapist can strengthen your therapeutic relationship. It demonstrates trust and vulnerability, which are key components of effective therapy.