You can tell that a therapist really likes you when you feel them come alive and seem to be fulfilled by interacting with you. They can flow with your emotions and respond appropriately. They laugh when something is funny, maybe even shed a tear when it's really bad.
The APA Code, Standard 10.08(a), states: "Psychologists do not engage in sexual intimacies with former clients/patients for at least two years after cessation or termination of therapy.” This is the first part of the 2-year rule.
Consistent eye contact, active listening, and a warm demeanor can indicate they care about you. Feedback: Some therapists may provide feedback about your progress or express appreciation for your openness in sessions. If they acknowledge your efforts or insights, it can be a sign of positive regard.
Signs of Transference in Therapy
Biases: One person irrationally dislikes the other or makes unfair assumptions. Strong emotional reactions: An individual blows up at another for seemingly no reason, implying that they have buried feelings toward another person.
You can tell that a therapist really likes you when you feel them come alive and seem to be fulfilled by interacting with you. They can flow with your emotions and respond appropriately. They laugh when something is funny, maybe even shed a tear when it's really bad.
Furthermore, the therapeutic relationship may also trigger transference, which is when a client unconsciously projects their past experiences and emotions onto their therapist. This can lead to intense emotions and a strong attachment to the therapist.
Talk to Your Therapist
If you are feeling attracted to your therapist, don't be afraid to share these feelings with them. It is not uncommon for a client to have these feelings, and the sooner they realize that you are feeling this way, they sooner they can start digging to find out the why behind it.
Reasons people fall in love with their therapist
Waichler explains, “The therapeutic relationship between patient and therapist is an intimate one.” Strong feelings and emotions are involved in therapy so it's not surprising many people develop romantic feelings for their therapist.
Often, what feels like staring is your therapist's way of gathering comprehensive information. They are looking to understand your verbal and non-verbal communication to provide better insights and support.
Therapists appreciate clients who take the time to acknowledge the progress they have made, recognize the impact of therapy on their lives, and express thanks for the guidance they receive.
Three percent started a sexual relationship with a current and/or former client, 3.7% started a friendship during therapy, and 13.4% started a friendship after therapy.
The American Psychological Association and American Psychiatric Association don't explicitly state that friendships with former clients or patients are unethical. Even so, they're probably not a good idea for a number of reasons. (And sexual relationships between former therapists and patients are never okay.)
For example, the American Psychological Association says a psychologist can't date a client for at least 2 years after counseling has ended. And the ACA has a 5-year waiting period after therapy has ended. Even then, a therapist must demonstrate that the relationship is not exploitative to avoid legal issues.
Spacing Out: More than just daydreaming, clients might become wholly disconnected from the present moment. Their gaze might seem vacant, or they might be unable to track or recall portions of the conversation. Amnesia: Short-term memory loss can be a significant red flag.
But as time goes by, your counsellor will help you to feel safe during your sessions, and when this happens many people find that they build an attachment towards their therapist.
If your therapist is sharing too much about their own life, making the session more about them than you, or showering you with unsolicited opinions, those are warning signs. Your therapy space is sacred—it's about you, not the therapist's stories or judgments.
The bottom line
Wanting a hug from your therapist is completely normal. Human touch provides comfort and can increase feelings of trust and safety.
* When discussing emotionally charged topics I notice when a client's breathing pattern changes, eyes are teary or glassy, their skin tone changes, etc. * I notice whether they are leaning towards me or away from me, how their body position changes throughout the session, or at particular points.
When they say, “Tell me more,” they really mean it. They want you to tell them more. They're curious. They can't believe they get to hear you say the things many of us think and feel but that we rarely feel safe enough to say.
If you're feeling good, share what's been going well and any positive experiences you've had. This helps your therapist understand what contributes to your well-being and reinforces positive patterns. If you're confused or unsure about your feelings, it's perfectly fine to say so.
How do you know whether you're a therapist friend? You're likely a therapist friend if you do nearly all the listening in your relationship, feel drained after get-togethers with your friend, and often find yourself needing to cheer your friend up or offer advice.